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[Private Post] - Relena Peacecraft-Darlian

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May 29th, 2005

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08:32 am - [Private Post]
I came online this morning with the intention of answering the comments left in my last post individually. However, half way through the first comment, I stopped. I just can't do this. Not yet. It's too painful.

*glances over to the bed where Tomas is still sleeping*

I can't help but think that I'm being very self-centred in allowing myself to wallow in self pity like this especially after what happened last night with Tomas.

It's a very humbling experience having the man you love crying in your arms and there's nothing you can do to make it better. He's lost the last of those he calls family, and he's not handling the situation well.

In public he's quiet, and putting on a brave face. He seems to feel that he has to live up to a standard with my family and friends even though I've told him that they will understand.

Last night he came to bed, and put his arms around me. He was shaking, and I stroked his hair. He leaned in closer and lost all that was left of his self control. I don't know how long we lay there holding each other, but we both cried at least a week's worth of tears before finally allowing sleep to claim us.

I need to go. Tomas is stirring and I don't want him to wake up alone.

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[User Picture]
Date:May 30th, 2005 08:36 am (UTC)
Its not wallowing in self-pity its called grieving and its something ppl do when they lose someone they love. Crying is good and even if he is putting up a brave face in public he is allowing himself to let his gaurd down and grieve in private. That is a good thing. He needs to let it out or it will eat at him.

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