July 8th, 2005
If you haven't already please read Quatre's LJ.
Any questions, comments etc you'd like to ask me, please feel free. Thank you all for your support etc. I've enjoyed it, even though I'm a late comer to the RP.
Apologies for the brevity of this post, but with time zones and work I'm very pushed for time this morning and shouldn't even be on here.
Will write more later, and comment in my 'other' LJ tonight.
Current Mood: rushed
June 16th, 2005
|07:46 pm - Happy birthday.|
Happy birthday, d_maxwell I hope both you AND Heero enjoy your day *winks*
Things are settling down again, although I'm not sure whether I can use the term normal to describe my life at present. Truth be known, I'm not sure what defines normality anymore. The past few weeks have been a blur, and I've lost all track of time. I'm very tired even though I am sleeping, but both Tomas and I are doing much better than we were.
It's quieter now Quatre and Trowa have left. I miss their company. Their support, as with everyones was very much appreciated, and sorely needed.
Thank you too, to everyone who offered support and advice.
Rest in Peace, dear Peygan. You will always hold a special place in my heart.
May 29th, 2005
|08:32 am - [Private Post]|
I came online this morning with the intention of answering the comments left in my last post individually. However, half way through the first comment, I stopped. I just can't do this. Not yet. It's too painful.
*glances over to the bed where Tomas is still sleeping*
I can't help but think that I'm being very self-centred in allowing myself to wallow in self pity like this especially after what happened last night with Tomas.
It's a very humbling experience having the man you love crying in your arms and there's nothing you can do to make it better. He's lost the last of those he calls family, and he's not handling the situation well.
In public he's quiet, and putting on a brave face. He seems to feel that he has to live up to a standard with my family and friends even though I've told him that they will understand.
Last night he came to bed, and put his arms around me. He was shaking, and I stroked his hair. He leaned in closer and lost all that was left of his self control. I don't know how long we lay there holding each other, but we both cried at least a week's worth of tears before finally allowing sleep to claim us.
I need to go. Tomas is stirring and I don't want him to wake up alone.
|08:24 am - Thank you.|
I apologise for not thanking everyone personally who left comments in my last post regarding my sad loss. It is remiss of me, I know, and I hope you will accept my apologies.
It has been an extremely trying week, and I don't know how I would have gotten this far without the help and support of my family and friends.
I truly appreciate all of you.
Thank you again.
May 24th, 2005
|09:58 pm - Goodbye|
Peygan passed away late this afternoon.
Thank you everyone for your support. I had planned to make this a longer post, but...
I just can't.
May 18th, 2005
|06:32 pm - [Filtered from Tomas] Watching and waiting...|
I've spent the last week at the hospital after my visit to Aspen was cut short by a phone call from Tomas. Peygan collapsed last Monday, and was rushed to hosptial after suffering a massive heart attack.
He's been unconscious for the most part, since he was admitted, except for twice when he opened his eyes, smiled at us, and then closed them again.
He's growing weaker, and I'm scared he's not going to recover.
I've already watched one father die, I don't know if I have the strength to do it again.
I'm also worried about Tomas. Peygan has been more of a father to him than an uncle, taking him and his mother in after his father died, and then providing comfort for Tomas when his mother passed away a few years later.
He's very quiet, and I know he's trying to be strong but I'm not sure how long he can keep doing this. I might try to get him away from the hospital for an hour or so, just to get him to open up and talk, but I worry that if I do and something happens while we are gone, neither of us would ever forgive ourselves.
Current Mood: worried
April 25th, 2005
|10:21 pm - Happy birthday|
Happy birthday, Wufei :)
I hope this year brings you the very best.
April 22nd, 2005
|03:08 pm - Zechs and Wufei....|
I've decided to visit for Wufei's birthday, to deliver his present in person - my flight leaves later this evening. I know it's short notice but, Zechs, would it be inconvenient for me to stay with you?
I'll also be bringing someone with me. Tomas has decided it's time he met my friends, and my brother, properly.
*gives you both a look* Do I really need to mention what will happen if you attempt to scare him off?
April 21st, 2005
|10:05 pm - [Private Post] Is this love?|
Of the past few weeks I have one big regret, that Tomas and I didn't get together sooner. I've always enjoyed his company but this is different. He cares for me, he truly does, and I know I feel the same way about him.
How do you know if you're falling in love with someone? I'm really not sure. All I know is that I want to see where our new found relationship takes us, spend all the time with him I can, and that I miss him when he's not around.
Tomas makes me feel special. I often find myself smiling at the memory of a touch, a whisper, a comment. I've had relationships before and they have failed for various reasons. I pray that this time things will work out. I think I've finally found someone I can imagine myself growing old with and it's a wonderful yet scary feeling.
( pre dinner conversation last nightCollapse )
Current Mood: content
April 4th, 2005
|04:05 pm - Post April Fools...|
Cathy and I had a little too much fun on April Fools this year. *grins* I enjoyed myself thoroughly.
It was very sweet of Tomas to show his concern and offer to provide safe escort for our trip to Vegas. True to his word, he showed up at the palace, very much the protective gentleman.
Naturally I couldn't make his trip a total waste so after I explained the situation, which he found quite amusing, I offered to take him out for dinner for his trouble.
We had a wonderful evening, and during dinner he finally admitted that it was he who has been leaving me the flowers and other gifts.
He has also asked if I would be interested in another 'date' and I've said yes.
Note for Zechs and Heero: Don't even think of scaring this one off...